Ralph's Movie Reviews: OLD DOGS

Friday, November 27, 2009

OLD DOGS

Family comedy

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
John Travolta: Charlie Reed, one of the principals in a sports management firm
Robin Williams: his middle-aged business partner Dan Rayburn
Seth Green: their business associate Ralph White
Kelly Preston: Dan’s ex-wife Vicki
Ella Bleu Travolta: seven-year-old fraternal twin Emily
Conner Rayburn: and Zach
Matt Dillon: camp counsellor Barry
Bernie Mac: entertainer Jimmy Lunchbox

REVIEW
I’ve given it a lot of thought and tried to come up with something nice to say about this film, something that might justify putting out $10 or so and having to give up more than a hour of your time to watching it. I am stymied because this one is completely without any merit at all.

The producers have simply taken a lot of clichés used in comic violence including hits to the crotch (three times and counting), smacks to the body, falling, tripping, breaking things and the like. Add to that a lot of mugging for the camera, rude bodily sounds and silly inane dialogue. In a word, just about anything they hope will provoke a laugh from those who enjoy that sort of humour. I do not so I left before things got any worse.

CLASSIFICATION

for mild rude humor.

FOR NITPICKERS ONLY
• While at the restaurant one of the kids knocks over Charlie’s soft drink. Seen from the kid’s perspective the empty glass remains on the table. But viewed over Dan’s shoulder the glass is sitting upright.
• Charlie tells someone their trip from NYC to Tokyo will take 18 hours. It does not: it is a little over 14 hours.
• Dan and Vicki got divorced before the kids were born so it is impossible that he was at an amusement park with them as seen on his laptop video.

P.S.
Makes you wonder if the Casting Director is a real good friend of the family: according to her bio, Kelly Preston (who plays Vicki) married John Travolta (who plays Charlie) in 1991. Their daughter Ella Bleu plays Emily.

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.