Wednesday, April 2, 2014


fantasy, science fiction

Russell Crowe: Noah
Jennifer Connelly: his wife Naameh
Douglas Booth: their oldest son Shem
Logan Lerman: Shem’s brother Ham
Leo Carroll: the youngest son Japheth
Anthony Hopkins: Noah’s grandfather Methuselah
Emma Watson: Ila, a badly injured survivor of a slaughter

The title of the movie is that of an historical figure who according to scriptures saved mankind from the wrath of God. Sure we all understand Hollywood takes certain liberties with the truth as we know it but when they rewrite the biblical story and have big ugly creatures made out of lumps of coal help Noah build the Ark, when men use tools and utensils well before they are invented (iron weapons and shields, rockets, chain link fence, animal traps) then the movie is nothing but a travesty of the Biblical recounting of these events. 

This fantasy, science-fiction film has no business making use of the name of Noah because of its implications. Call it “Noah and the lumps of coal” and I have no problem with that knowing it is a film about some guy called Noah who has some rather strange friends. So if he tosses down a seed into the barren ground and magically a forest of trees appears, trees just the right size to build an ark that’s alright because my expectations would be nothing more than seeing a soon-to-be-forgotten figment of someone’s imagination.

If that’s not bad enough, the film is overlong at two hours and twenty minutes, it is sluggish at times (probably to provide some relief to the senses after one of many loud, bombastic battles better suited to Star Wars) and makes Noah out to be something of a brutally cruel monster, not the man chosen by God to fulfill a mission of mercy.  

One final thought: as the audience filed out, the pervasive mood was that of bitter disappointment or perhaps disbelief. No one seemed happy or pleased with what they had just seen.


 for violence, disturbing images and brief suggestive content.