Ralph's Movie Reviews: CORALINE

Saturday, February 7, 2009

CORALINE

Animated\fantasy

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
Dakota Fanning: 11-year old Coraline Jones
Teri Hatcher: her mother
John Hodgman: her father
Ian McShane: Mr. Bobinsky, a former circus contortionist
Robert Bailey: a neighbourhood kid Wybourne “Wybie” Lovat
Keith David: a black cat
Dawn French: Miss Forcible, a former vaudeville performer
Jennifer Saunders: her partner Miss Spink

REVIEW
The big question is “Who is the target audience?”. Certainly not young children (it’s far too scary for them and they’ll wind up having nightmares) and definitely not anybody looking forward to having a good time: there is hardly a happy moment during the entire one hour and forty minutes. Instead we are subjected to bony skeletal figures in the “other world” with huge bugs and fearsome bats lurking about.

Although we should be rooting for our heroine Coraline that’s practically impossible: she is anything but sweet, she’s got an attitude and is not someone you’d much care about.

One final comment: it’s insufferably too long by at least fifteen minutes; some would say by one hour and forty minutes .

CLASSIFICATION

for thematic elements, scary images, some language and suggestive humor.

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.