Ralph's Movie Reviews: GRAND CANYON ADVENTURE: RIVER AT RISK

Monday, June 2, 2008

GRAND CANYON ADVENTURE:
RIVER AT RISK

Documentary

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
Wade Davis, author, photographer and an outspoken conservationist
His 18-year-old daughter Tara
Environmental activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (son of Ethel and Robert Kennedy)
His 18-year-old daughter Kick (Kathleen)

REVIEW
Wanting to be more than just another travelogue film, the producers tacked on the subtitle “River at Risk” ostensibly to make us aware of the fact the Colorado River is in trouble. What’s really in trouble is the movie. It is terribly muddled and needs sorting out.

To start with the producers never do spell out what might befall the river; presumably it is at risk of one day disappearing but we should not be going around guessing. Furthermore instead of concentrating on the river, the subject of the film, we are shown examples of global warming including a huge map of Lake Chad in Africa. We know all about that; what we came to see was a movie about the Grand Canyon.

Eventually we get to meet the people who will be our guides, Wade Davis and his daughter. But soon Robert F. Kennedy’s story is interjected and then we flip flop between these two groups until you have no idea what the heck it’s all about.

Until the final credits roll; then we are told about the need to conserve water, to turn off the water while brushing our teeth (yeah right) and to install new low-volume flush toilets. Kohler, the manufacturer of high-end bathroom fixtures is one of the corporate sponsors. I wonder if they had anything to do with that suggestion?

One other thing: there are the requisite big-screen majestic views of the Grand Canyon and a lot of on-board rafting down the Colorado. But pretty pictures themselves are not enough to counterbalance the serious shortcomings in the telling of the story.

CLASSIFICATION

P.S.
The producers got carried away with their new 3D “toy” and consequently subject us to repetitive images of CGI water droplets encapsulating the opening credits streaming towards us. We know it’s a 3D movie; there’s no need to hammer the point home

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.