Ralph's Movie Reviews: STARDUST

Monday, August 13, 2007

STARDUST

Fantasy romance

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
Charlie Cox: Tristan, a 18-year old Englishman
Sienna Miller: Victoria, a rather vain young lady
Henry Cavill: big bully Humphrey
Claire Danes: the walking-talking fallen star Yvaine
Peter O’Toole: the king of Stormhold
Michelle Pfeiffer: the not so ugly witch Lamia

REVIEW
After half an hour I had enough and walked out. What transpired I think is all pretty silly. Here’s what I saw so you can be the judge:

Tristan falls in love with the prettiest maiden in the village (what else is new?) who is betrothed to the town-braggart (surprise) but will marry the new guy if he fetchs her a falling star (now that’s true love) which turns out to be a even more beautiful girl. But an ugly witch wants to snatch her heart out so she (the ugly witch) will gain immortal beauty and now Tristan has all kinds of problems.

CLASSIFICATION

for fantasy violence and some risque humor.

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.