Ralph's Movie Reviews: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST

Saturday, July 8, 2006

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:
DEAD MAN’S CHEST

Action adventure

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
Keira Knightley: the lovely governor’s daughter Elizabeth Swann
Orlando Bloom: her fiancé Will Turner
Jonathan Pryce: her father the British Governor of Port Royal
Tom Hollander: Lord Cutter Beckett, owner of the East India Trading Company
Johnny Depp: Jack Sparrow, captain of The Black Pearl
Bill Nighy: Davy Jones, captain of The Flying Dutchman

REVIEW
Often sequels don’t live up to the original. Such is the case with this one. Although there is plenty of action, much of it is repetitive. And the movie goes on far too long. Instead of employing hundreds (no kidding … check out the final credits) of special effects experts, they should have hired a few more people to edit it down to size.

Despite these shortcomings, the movie is still entertaining with lots of one-liners and some slapstick resulting in pretty much non-stop fun.

CLASSIFICATION

for intense sequences of adventure violence and frightening images

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.