Friday, May 4, 2012

THE PIRATES!


Animated adventure


PRINCIPAL VOICES
Hugh Grant: The Pirate Captain
Martin Freeman: Number Two
Anton Yelchin: The Albino Pirate
Ashley Jensen: The Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate
Al Roker: The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens
Salma Hayek: Cutlass Liz
Jeremy Piven: Black Bellamy
Lenny Henry: Peg Leg Hastings
David Tennant: Charles Darwin
Imelda Staunton: Queen Victoria

REVIEW
This bunch of misfits is led by a captain who is determined to win for the first time the Pirate of the Year Award. A good story line but frankly it does not work. 

The movie is never really funny, just the smile-inducing type of humour but there is nothing approaching outright laughter. Instead of clever dialogue, that dry tongue-in-cheek sort the Brits are so good at, many of the gags are of the visual sort and these can be easily missed as they are often in the background. And they are only mildly amusing.

That’s not to say you should stay away in droves. But I’m sure you can find better things to do than sit in a theatre for an hour and a half waiting for something funny to happen?


CLASSIFICATION
for mild action, rude humour and some language. 


FOR NITPICKERS ONLY
• The Bottle of Grog on the Pirate Captain’s table disappears for a couple of shots but eventually takes its esteemed place.
 • When the cannon ball strikes the picture of Queen Victoria it leaves her distorted face looking left but in the very next shot she is facing right.

I know that regular rules do not apply to a movie of this sort but I still cannot resist listing these more obvious nitpicks:
• One of the patrons in the bar does the moon walk first introduced by Michael Jackson in 1983, many years after these events which took place in 1873.
 • Another bar patron is playing with a Rubik’s Cube which was not invented until 1974.

 P.S. At least they got it right for a couple of things:
• Queen Victoria ascended the throne in 1837 (and was Britain’s monarch until her death in 1901).
• Charles Darwin’s voyage on the Beagle began in 1831 and lasted until 1835.
• The dodo bird became extinct by 1681 (eaten mostly by hungry sailors)

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