Ralph's Movie Reviews: ALPHA DOG

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

ALPHA DOG

= zero stars

Drama based on a true story

PRINCIPAL CAST MEMBERS
Bruce Willis: Sonny Truelove
Emile Hirsch: his son Johnny, a teenage drug lord
Justin Timberlake: Frankie, one of Johnny’s gang
Shawn Hatosy: Elvis, Johnny’s gofer
Ben Foster: Jake Mazursky, a neo-Nazi skinhead
David Thornton: his 15 year-old brother Butch
Anton Yelchin: their father Zack
Sharon Stone: their step-mother Olivia

REVIEW
The acting is terrible, the dialogue is infantile and replete with the f-word, the sex is rampant and the violence is graphic. The group’s attitude towards women as merely sex objects is reprehensible. And the tough guy (Johnny) looks like a 10-year old choirboy and completely unbelievable as a ruthless drug dealer who is supposed to inspire fear and dread. What a laugh.

But that alone was not the reason I walked out: I simply do not want to be in any way associated with people like that.

CLASSIFICATION

for really strong language, nudity, drug use, extreme violence.

P.S.
Alpha: First letter of the Greek alphabet often used to describe the highest ranked or most dominant individual of the group particularly the ranking of social animals (chimpanzees, lions, wolves etc). Example, “the alpha male of the wolf pack.”

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my ratings system

I've always thought that telling too much about a movie or warning someone about a "twist" at the end deprives the person the pleasure of seeing it as it unfolds, so I don’t do it. You may not always agree with my rating of course, but at least it is an unbiased opinion unlike some of the full time professional reviewers who are on the studio’s payroll.

A few movies you won’t see any review from me:

Scary movies: I’m the world’s biggest chicken and just hate getting the crap scared out of me. I can handle an unexpected door slam, that kind of thing, but a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat…not for me. Sorry.
Movies geared to the young teen and pre-teen crowd with dialog comprising mostly of crude remarks, awful jokes and lots of rude, socially unacceptable body noises. "The Spy that Shagged Me" comes to mind. (I wonder if the kids know what the British verb to shag someone really means? They probably do; I bet you it’s the parents who haven’t a clue).
Sometimes Hollywood gets on a roll and they produce a series of movies that are all very much alike. For example movies about the CIA were very popular and so we had The Bourne Identity and Bad Company and The Sum of All Fears. They all had the same basic theme and it becomes repetitive. I will see some, but not all of them.

FYI this is my rating system:

0 stars = Terrible: so bad it’s not worth talking about; in fact, I’d pay you not to go
= Lousy: I actually got up and walked out before the end it was just that bad (no kidding)
= Not so good: thought about walking out but hung in just in case it got better (but it didn’t)
= A so-so good movie: I enjoyed it somewhat but wasn’t all that crazy about it
= A really good movie: I recommend seeing it
= An excellent movie you just got to see! I suggest you put it on your "To Do List" it’s that good.

some favourite websites

For those into it, Nitpickers at

has more movie mistakes than you could ever imagine. My contributions can be seen if you check out the Nitpickers Registry and click on the link Nitpickers Listed by Nitpicker Number, select the group 45,401 - 45,500 and drill down to number 45411. Although I have 56 nitpicks to my credit, some have almost 2,000. You wonder sometimes where they find the time to do it.